I had my second ultrasound already yesterday. It was to confirm my due date. Unlike last time, when my due date got pushed back 11 days, we got moved up a day! So my official due date is December 30, 2009. The little ones will be almost exactly 15 1/2 months apart. Maybe I should be committed now.
I did get to hear the heartbeat, which was very exciting. Normally you don't get to hear it until about 12-14 weeks. It was 164 beats per minute, good and healthy. I might be getting a little more excited, but at the same time a little more "Oh my gosh what the hell have I gotten myself into?" It is so hard not to panic.
I want to be able to enjoy my son's new milestones without being exhausted from 1st trimester fatigue and morning sickness. I want to be able to chase him while he's crawling and have the energy to take him places instead of feeling like a blob on the couch. I know I'm not the only woman to go through this, but the majority who do it do so willingly. I still feel a tiny bit of resentment. I wanted to savor every bit of my son's babyhood, and now I feel like I'm only giving 50% of what is possible.
I really am trying to look at all the positives of this. Current positives: I got a prescription for Zofran to help with my nausea, and it is REALLY helping! I also have a go-to food that I know will fill me up and not make me sick--mashed potatoes. Yum.
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