Hi all (if I have any readers left, that is)!
My baby girl is doing well, as am I. This has been quite the uneventful pregnancy, up to now. My body has taken it much better this time around, which I did not expect. I have barely gained 10 pounds, and I will admit I could afford to gain more. I have not had any seizures, and my only complaints are mundane for pregnancy--morning sickness and back pain. I am thanking all the people who prayed for me, as well as my son for keeping me in such good shape and keeping my mind off any little ache or pain.
The big events are starting to happen now, though, but they are happy events! We are moving cross-country with only 4 weeks up until my scheduled c-section date. Thankfully we have a very supportive family, and they are giving us all the help we'll need plus more. I already have an appointment scheduled with my new doctor for next week, and they should accomodate our schedule.
As I said before, the baby looks great. I just had a growth ultrasound yesterday, and she is in the 59th/51st percentiles, estimated at 4 lbs. 11 oz. +/- 6 oz. The doctor also said she has a lot of hair! I hope he's right about the hair. :)
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
A Vow to Myself and my Family
I would like to make this vow in writing, for all of you to see:
I promise to try harder this time around.
I promise for extra cuddles (if that is even possible!).
I promise to shower at least every other day, and get out of my pajamas!
I promise to multitask when I can, and this does not mean get on the computer.
I promise to love you with my whole heart plus more.
I promise to not show favoritism.
I promise to not slight you because "we've done this all before."
I promise hugs and kisses every day.
I promise to be at all your games, recitals, and anything that is important to you. Even if I have to lose my job.
I promise to be your Mommy. I promise to love you. Forever and always. Even if you slam the door in my face when you are 13. I know you love me too.
I promise to try harder this time around.
I promise for extra cuddles (if that is even possible!).
I promise to shower at least every other day, and get out of my pajamas!
I promise to multitask when I can, and this does not mean get on the computer.
I promise to love you with my whole heart plus more.
I promise to not show favoritism.
I promise to not slight you because "we've done this all before."
I promise hugs and kisses every day.
I promise to be at all your games, recitals, and anything that is important to you. Even if I have to lose my job.
I promise to be your Mommy. I promise to love you. Forever and always. Even if you slam the door in my face when you are 13. I know you love me too.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
News
My day got started with a call from my neurologist's office with bloodwork results. Usually those just get mailed to me, and we discuss them at my bi-monthly appointments. My medication level dropped, which means my daily dosage has to be increased.
I am only 18 weeks. I did not have to have anything increased until the late 2nd trimester/early 3rd trimester last pregnancy. Logically, I know this is for the better. I know that they are monitoring everything a lot closer. I know that my dosage was not increased until after I had a seizure with my last pregnancy, so I should be thankful this has been caught. But I still feel like this is early. There are so many "what if"s. What if it is going to be worse this time because it is so early? What if i have to take so much more of my medicine that it cancels out the amount of folic acid I'm taking? What if, what if, what if?
I'm trying so hard to focus on the logical advice given by my OB last year: the health of the mother comes first. Seizures cause me to lose oxygen, which cause baby to lose oxygen. The medication may cause a birth defect, but oxygen loss will cause trauma or death. You can fix a defective baby but you cannot fix a dead baby. That is near verbatim. Those words will forever stand out in my mind, and I am just trying to repeat them to myself when I am forcing myself to swallow 6 pills in the morning and 4 at night. This isn't permanent, and there is a prize in the end.
I am only 18 weeks. I did not have to have anything increased until the late 2nd trimester/early 3rd trimester last pregnancy. Logically, I know this is for the better. I know that they are monitoring everything a lot closer. I know that my dosage was not increased until after I had a seizure with my last pregnancy, so I should be thankful this has been caught. But I still feel like this is early. There are so many "what if"s. What if it is going to be worse this time because it is so early? What if i have to take so much more of my medicine that it cancels out the amount of folic acid I'm taking? What if, what if, what if?
I'm trying so hard to focus on the logical advice given by my OB last year: the health of the mother comes first. Seizures cause me to lose oxygen, which cause baby to lose oxygen. The medication may cause a birth defect, but oxygen loss will cause trauma or death. You can fix a defective baby but you cannot fix a dead baby. That is near verbatim. Those words will forever stand out in my mind, and I am just trying to repeat them to myself when I am forcing myself to swallow 6 pills in the morning and 4 at night. This isn't permanent, and there is a prize in the end.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Take care
Sometimes I feel like I need a caretaker for myself. I feel like I do a pretty good, if not great, job taking care of my son (who is 10.5 months now!), but so much of myself gets tossed by the wayside. I know that is what happens when you become a mother, but now that I am pregnant again, I should be taking much better care of myself than I am.
This pregnancy is going pretty similarly to my last one: lots of marital stress, lots of arguing, morning sickness, weight loss, worrying, etc. However, I cannot seem to eat. I don't find many things appetizing, I gag when I put food in my mouth, and I even have a strong anti-nausea prescription (which I did not have last time). I already weigh less than I have in years. Less than I got down to with my last pregnancy, probably what I weighed when I was a junior in high school, obsessed with exercising and counting calories. I swear I am not trying to do this.
Also, I have forgotten my anti-seizure and anti-depressants the past two days. Yes, I know what can happen if I forget. I just get too caught up in playing with my son or too caught up in thinking about everything else or wanting to sleep when he sleeps that I forget.
I want this pregnancy to go better. I want to be healthy. I want a healthy baby. More than anything. I just don't want to be sad anymore. I don't want to feel trapped.
This pregnancy is going pretty similarly to my last one: lots of marital stress, lots of arguing, morning sickness, weight loss, worrying, etc. However, I cannot seem to eat. I don't find many things appetizing, I gag when I put food in my mouth, and I even have a strong anti-nausea prescription (which I did not have last time). I already weigh less than I have in years. Less than I got down to with my last pregnancy, probably what I weighed when I was a junior in high school, obsessed with exercising and counting calories. I swear I am not trying to do this.
Also, I have forgotten my anti-seizure and anti-depressants the past two days. Yes, I know what can happen if I forget. I just get too caught up in playing with my son or too caught up in thinking about everything else or wanting to sleep when he sleeps that I forget.
I want this pregnancy to go better. I want to be healthy. I want a healthy baby. More than anything. I just don't want to be sad anymore. I don't want to feel trapped.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Tired
Sometimes I wish real life was like Hollywood. Not the movies, just like celebrity life. I wish I could check into the hospital for "exhaustion" just so I could get away from my life for a few days, weeks, whatever. Just until I felt like going back.
I am so tired.
Tired of doing everything.
Tired of being nagged.
Tired of putting the baby to bed and being expected to hop right on the housework instead of allowing myself some time to eat or relax.
Tired of putting everyone's needs in front of my own, especially when I need to eat right to gain weight for this baby, when all I have done is lost it.
I just want to go lay down somewhere, where people will take care of ME. Where no one will call me lazy for wanting to lay down. Where people will ask me how I feel. Where people will notice when I feel down. Where I won't have to fake it.
I'm not a lazy piece of shit. I'm not any of those things. I'm just a little stressed out. No, I don't get stressed too easily, I am just overworked and underappreciated.
I am so tired.
Tired of doing everything.
Tired of being nagged.
Tired of putting the baby to bed and being expected to hop right on the housework instead of allowing myself some time to eat or relax.
Tired of putting everyone's needs in front of my own, especially when I need to eat right to gain weight for this baby, when all I have done is lost it.
I just want to go lay down somewhere, where people will take care of ME. Where no one will call me lazy for wanting to lay down. Where people will ask me how I feel. Where people will notice when I feel down. Where I won't have to fake it.
I'm not a lazy piece of shit. I'm not any of those things. I'm just a little stressed out. No, I don't get stressed too easily, I am just overworked and underappreciated.
Friday, July 10, 2009
FAQ
What kind of IUD did you have?
I had the Copper IUD, brandname Paragard. It does not contain hormones. For more information go to http://www.paragard.com/ or ask your doctor.
What made you decide to take a pregnancy test?
I had regular 28-day cycles and was 5 days late.
Was your IUD inserted incorrectly?
No. It was inserted perfectly, but it shifted and moved out of my uterus into my cervix. It was removed 3 days after I got my positive home pregnancy test at 5 weeks 3 days gestation. I also had an ultrasound to ensure the pregnancy was viable and only saw a gestational sac.
What is the effectiveness rate for the Paragard IUD?
99.4% which is the same as tubal ligation, surprisingly. I guess we got lucky.
Are you going to sue your doctor?
(This really gets asked!) The thought has never crossed my mind, and I would never do that. He is a great guy, and anyway, you have to sign a waiver stating that you understand the risks involved before you get it inserted. I'm not a money grubber!
What are you doing for future birth control?
I'm getting a tubal ligation with my planned c-section in December.
Were you using any back up methods?
Not at all! Who thinks to do that when they are using an (almost) fail-safe birth control method? Would you?
I had the Copper IUD, brandname Paragard. It does not contain hormones. For more information go to http://www.paragard.com/ or ask your doctor.
What made you decide to take a pregnancy test?
I had regular 28-day cycles and was 5 days late.
Was your IUD inserted incorrectly?
No. It was inserted perfectly, but it shifted and moved out of my uterus into my cervix. It was removed 3 days after I got my positive home pregnancy test at 5 weeks 3 days gestation. I also had an ultrasound to ensure the pregnancy was viable and only saw a gestational sac.
What is the effectiveness rate for the Paragard IUD?
99.4% which is the same as tubal ligation, surprisingly. I guess we got lucky.
Are you going to sue your doctor?
(This really gets asked!) The thought has never crossed my mind, and I would never do that. He is a great guy, and anyway, you have to sign a waiver stating that you understand the risks involved before you get it inserted. I'm not a money grubber!
What are you doing for future birth control?
I'm getting a tubal ligation with my planned c-section in December.
Were you using any back up methods?
Not at all! Who thinks to do that when they are using an (almost) fail-safe birth control method? Would you?
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