Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Thank you

I'm not sure if anyone has stopped by here since I posted the link to my new blog last year. I was feeling nostalgic and just read all the old posts in this blog tonight, comments and all. For those of you who read, commented, and supported me through that difficult time in my life: Thank you so much. Four (4?!?!) years later, and I'm happy to say my life has certainly come so far and changed so much. In a much better way. This was a nice outlet to have in a difficult time, and I can never say thank you enough for allowing me to use you as a sounding board. -M

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

New Blog

check it out...

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Quick Update

Hi all (if I have any readers left, that is)!

My baby girl is doing well, as am I. This has been quite the uneventful pregnancy, up to now. My body has taken it much better this time around, which I did not expect. I have barely gained 10 pounds, and I will admit I could afford to gain more. I have not had any seizures, and my only complaints are mundane for pregnancy--morning sickness and back pain. I am thanking all the people who prayed for me, as well as my son for keeping me in such good shape and keeping my mind off any little ache or pain.

The big events are starting to happen now, though, but they are happy events! We are moving cross-country with only 4 weeks up until my scheduled c-section date. Thankfully we have a very supportive family, and they are giving us all the help we'll need plus more. I already have an appointment scheduled with my new doctor for next week, and they should accomodate our schedule.

As I said before, the baby looks great. I just had a growth ultrasound yesterday, and she is in the 59th/51st percentiles, estimated at 4 lbs. 11 oz. +/- 6 oz. The doctor also said she has a lot of hair! I hope he's right about the hair. :)

Monday, October 26, 2009

A Vow to Myself and my Family

I would like to make this vow in writing, for all of you to see:

I promise to try harder this time around.
I promise for extra cuddles (if that is even possible!).
I promise to shower at least every other day, and get out of my pajamas!
I promise to multitask when I can, and this does not mean get on the computer.
I promise to love you with my whole heart plus more.
I promise to not show favoritism.
I promise to not slight you because "we've done this all before."
I promise hugs and kisses every day.
I promise to be at all your games, recitals, and anything that is important to you. Even if I have to lose my job.

I promise to be your Mommy. I promise to love you. Forever and always. Even if you slam the door in my face when you are 13. I know you love me too.

Thursday, July 30, 2009


My day got started with a call from my neurologist's office with bloodwork results. Usually those just get mailed to me, and we discuss them at my bi-monthly appointments. My medication level dropped, which means my daily dosage has to be increased.

I am only 18 weeks. I did not have to have anything increased until the late 2nd trimester/early 3rd trimester last pregnancy. Logically, I know this is for the better. I know that they are monitoring everything a lot closer. I know that my dosage was not increased until after I had a seizure with my last pregnancy, so I should be thankful this has been caught. But I still feel like this is early. There are so many "what if"s. What if it is going to be worse this time because it is so early? What if i have to take so much more of my medicine that it cancels out the amount of folic acid I'm taking? What if, what if, what if?

I'm trying so hard to focus on the logical advice given by my OB last year: the health of the mother comes first. Seizures cause me to lose oxygen, which cause baby to lose oxygen. The medication may cause a birth defect, but oxygen loss will cause trauma or death. You can fix a defective baby but you cannot fix a dead baby. That is near verbatim. Those words will forever stand out in my mind, and I am just trying to repeat them to myself when I am forcing myself to swallow 6 pills in the morning and 4 at night. This isn't permanent, and there is a prize in the end.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Take care

Sometimes I feel like I need a caretaker for myself. I feel like I do a pretty good, if not great, job taking care of my son (who is 10.5 months now!), but so much of myself gets tossed by the wayside. I know that is what happens when you become a mother, but now that I am pregnant again, I should be taking much better care of myself than I am.

This pregnancy is going pretty similarly to my last one: lots of marital stress, lots of arguing, morning sickness, weight loss, worrying, etc. However, I cannot seem to eat. I don't find many things appetizing, I gag when I put food in my mouth, and I even have a strong anti-nausea prescription (which I did not have last time). I already weigh less than I have in years. Less than I got down to with my last pregnancy, probably what I weighed when I was a junior in high school, obsessed with exercising and counting calories. I swear I am not trying to do this.

Also, I have forgotten my anti-seizure and anti-depressants the past two days. Yes, I know what can happen if I forget. I just get too caught up in playing with my son or too caught up in thinking about everything else or wanting to sleep when he sleeps that I forget.

I want this pregnancy to go better. I want to be healthy. I want a healthy baby. More than anything. I just don't want to be sad anymore. I don't want to feel trapped.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


God grant me strength to make it through to Friday...
Thank you.