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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Love

One of the (many) reasons I was so nervous to have another child was because I feared that I could never love another person as much as I love my son.



The love I have for him is shocking to me at times. It took a long while to really "fall" in love with him. I was not one of the people who could say, "I'm so in love!" an hour after he was born and truly mean it. Heck, I didn't even get to see or hold him until three hours after he was born, so how would I have known? In all honesty, it took a good two or three months until I could truthfully say I was head over heels, kill-for-him, in love. It feels so weird to say that. So many people say that they were truly in love at first sight. Sometimes I wonder if they are lying to make themselves feel better, or if I just missed out on the early bond and think that about them to make myself feel better.

I hope that I get to hold Baby #2 sooner after birth than I did with my son. I feel like that is one of the many reasons I had bonding issues and post partum depression issues. I won't get into the rest this time. ;)

4 comments:

  1. I totally agree about loving the next one as much I am also worried. It amazes me how much I just love my little boy. I am sure all your fears will go away as soon as you bond with the new LO. Best wishes.

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  2. I got to hold her the second she was born and I had the same issue with falling madly deeply in love. It took awhile. Nothing wrong with that. =)

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  3. Same here. I also wonder if those people are lying or if they were just luckier than us. I really hope you get to hold this baby sooner and bond with them more easily. I know you will love them just as much, although maybe it will be a different love. But love is an infinite resource. You can spread it without diminishing it and the more you have, the more valuable it is.

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  4. I know how you feel about the bonding thing. I couldn't hold my son til he was 3 days old and I feel like I really missed out on that immediate post-partum bonding. I really feel like I am just in the past month (3-4 months old) falling truly head over heels "kill-for-him" in love, as he's becoming happier, less colicky & his reflux goes away!

    I have heard many moms have this fear, but that the second their #2 is born, they know that there's plenty of love to go around. I really really hope you get to bond with this baby immediately after your c-section!

    Becca (auchick, from the Bump)

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