One of the (many) reasons I was so nervous to have another child was because I feared that I could never love another person as much as I love my son.
The love I have for him is shocking to me at times. It took a long while to really "fall" in love with him. I was not one of the people who could say, "I'm so in love!" an hour after he was born and truly mean it. Heck, I didn't even get to see or hold him until three hours after he was born, so how would I have known? In all honesty, it took a good two or three months until I could truthfully say I was head over heels, kill-for-him, in love. It feels so weird to say that. So many people say that they were truly in love at first sight. Sometimes I wonder if they are lying to make themselves feel better, or if I just missed out on the early bond and think that about them to make myself feel better.
I hope that I get to hold Baby #2 sooner after birth than I did with my son. I feel like that is one of the many reasons I had bonding issues and post partum depression issues. I won't get into the rest this time. ;)
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I totally agree about loving the next one as much I am also worried. It amazes me how much I just love my little boy. I am sure all your fears will go away as soon as you bond with the new LO. Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteI got to hold her the second she was born and I had the same issue with falling madly deeply in love. It took awhile. Nothing wrong with that. =)
ReplyDeleteSame here. I also wonder if those people are lying or if they were just luckier than us. I really hope you get to hold this baby sooner and bond with them more easily. I know you will love them just as much, although maybe it will be a different love. But love is an infinite resource. You can spread it without diminishing it and the more you have, the more valuable it is.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about the bonding thing. I couldn't hold my son til he was 3 days old and I feel like I really missed out on that immediate post-partum bonding. I really feel like I am just in the past month (3-4 months old) falling truly head over heels "kill-for-him" in love, as he's becoming happier, less colicky & his reflux goes away!
ReplyDeleteI have heard many moms have this fear, but that the second their #2 is born, they know that there's plenty of love to go around. I really really hope you get to bond with this baby immediately after your c-section!
Becca (auchick, from the Bump)